Who am I? Well, of course, I’m not really going to tell you. Some people can use their real names on the net, but not me. I intend to write about some very personal things in myblog , and because many of my posts will be recounting situations involving others, I’ve decided to be deeply secretive about the whole thing to protect … the innocent, all right, damn it, there — I’ve said it — my firstblogged clichรฉ.

But who, or in this case, what kind of person, am I? Here is a description I wrote about myself a while ago when my friends finally pressured me into joining one of those friend-chain sites:

“I am a sensitive, intelligent, fun loving and gregarious yet serious guy with varied tastes in just about everything. I am passionate about culture, the arts, politics, goals, knowing yourself, and living life. I am definitely a romantic, but don’t consider myself to be too mushy. Yeah, I’ll cry if something hurts me deeply, but that something probably won’t be a ‘chick-flick’ I’m watching. I know who I am, and what I am, and am not afraid to be that person, although I also firmly believe in decorum and behaving appropriately. I really enjoy living in the metro area of the city I reside in, and love my loft which has an amazing view.

I love people with strong personalities, people who are not afraid to be themselves. I thrive on deep, interesting conversation – really getting to know someone is something I value highly. I enjoy being active and being out of doors, which can be anything from walking around town to hiking to snow sports to reading in the park. I am also fascinated by people who are passionate about things I might not have had experience with – variety brings new depth to any relationship. I gravitate towards people who take care of themselves on every level, not just physically, but mentally and spiritually as well (even if that’s just believing in yourself).”

So, that ought to fill it in a bit… but it’s not really quite enough, is it? Who am I, really?? That’s not so easy to define. The simplest and most efficient way is for me to adopt the ‘100 Things About Me’ method, so here you have it:

100 Things About Me That I Know To Be True Or Have Experienced.

  1. I am a 33-year old gay man.
  2. I firmly believe I have found my life-mate.
  3. I think it’s very stupid, petty, misguided, and insulting I am not allowed to call the man I love my husband.
  4. I love who he challenges me to become; he has taught me so much about life.
  5. He says the same of me.
  6. I moved away from the state I grew up in to be with ‘him’ (hereafter to be referred to as ‘The Guy’).
  7. We met online when I visited his blog-site and emailed him to tell him how much I liked it.
  8. Even though you aren’t supposed to get involved with people online, I did it, and I’m here to say it worked out very well.
  9. When I first heard his voice over the telephone, my inner voice told me this was The One, and it was right.
  10. I try to listen to my inner voice and heed its advice because it has always been spot-on.
  11. The Guy and I have been together since the spring of 2002.
  12. This is not my first gay relationship, although it is my first committed long-term one.
  13. Many people think gay men are incapable of having a long-term monogamous relationship.
  14. That’s complete bullshit.
  15. People shouldn’t believe everything they read or watch on television.
  16. The Guy and I co-parent his two sons, age 7 and age 10, who live with us full-time.
  17. We have always been up front with our sons about being a couple, and because we don’t make it a big deal, it’s not a big deal to them.
  18. Parenting is one of the most difficult and rewarding experiences I’ve ever had.
  19. I didn’t used to think I was an unselfish enough person to be an effective parent.
  20. One of the very first things I learned as a parent was how not to be so selfish.
  21. The Guy makes enough money that I was able to retire very early and become a stay-at-home parent.
  22. I absolutely love that role – I’m very good at it.
  23. The Guy and I have talked about possibly adding another child to our home, but we’re not quite ready yet.
  24. Our sons visit their mother most weekends.
  25. We are on very good terms with their mother, The Guy’s ex-wife.
  26. I have an ex-wife, too.
  27. We are on very good terms with her as well.
  28. I got married when I was 21 because my conservative family pressured me to not be myself, to not be gay, for religious reasons.
  29. It took me eight and a half years of marriage before I finally got up the guts to begin dissolving the relationship.
  30. She knew when we started dating that I was gay, but agreed to marry me anyway.
  31. It was very important to me before we became serious that she knew the truth as I don’t believe in relationships built on dishonesty.
  32. I suspect, though, that secretly I was trying to sabotage it.
  33. We both hoped I would change, through ‘god’s love.’
  34. I didn’t.
  35. Although I care very much for her, I never loved her the way I love The Guy.
  36. What saddens me is that I know she truly loved me the way I love The Guy.
  37. I deeply regret making the decision to marry her, but understand I was only attempting to play along the way it was shoved down my throat that I should.
  38. I suspect my ex-wife is still in love with me, and that worries me a bit.
  39. I hope she will someday be able to heal completely and be truly happy.
  40. Although you may find this hard to believe, I was only unfaithful to her one time.
  41. No, really, I’m serious.
  42. It was a horrible one-night thing, and I deeply regretted being duplicitous so much that I never ever did it again.
  43. Two things caused me to start thinking I had the power to rearrange my life for the better.
  44. The first was a near-death experience.
  45. The second was the suicide of an old friend.
  46. Life is too short.
  47. Way too short.
  48. People should spend their lives being themselves and doing things that make them happy.
  49. Before I came out of the closet, I was very overweight.
  50. Afterwards, I dropped 85% of my weight and am no longer afraid to be attractive.
  51. In fact, these days, I get quite a lot of attention. ๐Ÿ™‚
  52. But I’m still working on that remaining 15%. ๐Ÿ˜‰
  53. The Guy and I watch a lot of Netflix after the kids go to bed as we are big film buffs.
  54. Lately, though, like many we have succumbed to the siren song of ’24.’
  55. Although I feel a little silly about that, I can’t help wanting to keep watching. ๐Ÿ˜‰
  56. I secretly think the show is one of the best prime-time soap operas to hit network television.
  57. That’s saying something, as usually I think most network TV is crap and refuse to watch it.
  58. Coming out of the closet was one of the hardest things I have ever done, and I am very proud of myself for doing it.
  59. I can honestly say for the first time in my life that these days I am truly happy.
  60. Although things were extremely strained in the beginning between myself and my family, time has truly healed all wounds and these days my relationship with my family is pretty much back to normal.
  61. It’s even possible my parents will be ready to meet The Guy and our two children soon.
  62. For a long while, I wasn’t allowed to talk with my family about my new life, but that’s all different now.
  63. Knowing I couldn’t share myself with my family really hurt me.
  64. Try explaining that situation to two young children.
  65. I think it’s very stupid, petty, damaging, and shameful that most of the cultures on this planet do not accept gay people for who they are.
  66. Such bigotry forces many people to lead lives of quiet despair or in some cases harm themselves or others, all because of this intense pressure to conform to someone else’s ideals.
  67. I know this because I was not too far from seriously considering suicide myself.
  68. I even had it planned.
  69. Only one person in my life, The Guy, knows that about me.
  70. I firmly believe conservative homophobic people should get their minds out of my bedroom and focus on their own damn families.
  71. Right now it’s very late, but that’s all right because I am a night owl.
  72. I have been to France and Germany, but that’s it.
  73. For now.
  74. It snows sometimes where I live, and I like that because snow in the city is very beautiful.
  75. In our spacious two-story loft, we have very contemporary furnishings and all the latest appliances and accessories.
  76. That’s because we’re gay that way. ๐Ÿ˜‰
  77. I really love to decorate our home, and am very into design and architecture.
  78. But I don’t think that’s solely because I am gay – that’s just a stereotype.
  79. No, really, it is.
  80. Another stereotype is that most gay men love Brittney Spears, Paris Hilton, Madonna, and ‘American Idol.’
  81. The Guy and I abhor ALL of those things, and boycott them on principle.
  82. Furthermore, although I am a sharp dresser, I have absolutely zero interest in dressing up like a woman the way some gay men do, and am completely confused by such behavior.
  83. If that offends any gay people reading this who dress in drag, I am sorry.
  84. I am a huge control freak but I am working on not being that way.
  85. It was a bit difficult for me to write that down.
  86. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.
  87. I am a highly creative person.
  88. I am a very good singer, and have won top marks in several national competitions.
  89. Because I was afraid of admitting to myself and others I am gay, I never did anything with my musical talent.
  90. But I am working to change that.
  91. The Guy just bought me my first Mercedes Benz about a month ago.
  92. I was floored and on an emotional high for almost three weeks.
  93. I grew up riding around in them (my parents’), but have never owned one.
  94. My Mercedes Benz is a 2003 E320, fully loaded, ‘Platinum Blue’ with an ‘Ash’ leather and walnut interior.
  95. My sister, who also drives a Mercedes Benz, was absolutely thrilled for me.
  96. We traded in our Land Rover in favor of the Mercedes Benz.
  97. Although our friends are all in the same socio-economic status as we are, much to our surprise we received a couple of mixed reactions from some of them.
  98. My mother told me these mixed reactions were because of “Liberal guilt” and says I shouldn’t pay any attention.
  99. Although I am not politically conservative like she is, I think she’s right.
  100. Making this list was much easier than I thought it would be.

And an extra:

101. What’s with the ‘aubergine’ thing? I like the word, like the vegetable, and like the color purple (although I would never decorate with or wear the color, ever).

    So, there you have it – hope that helps!


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